How do you reinvent yourself when you’re not sure where to start?
Like everyone else, when life starts to get dull or when I start to think about starting over or working harder, it can be hard to wrap my head around where to start.
Change for the better can happen to anyone at any point in their life, and what is important is finding the right way to do it and the right goals to set.
When I’m doing a workshop or speaking at an event, I often talk about finding resilience through the Cycle of Hope, even when we’re dealing with what seems like the worst of times.
When we go through struggles or find ourselves at a standstill in our lives, it is almost like a fresh canvas is being presented to us — a new way to rebound and find hope.
We have the chance to do something new and different with it.
What will you do with yours? How will you reinvent yourself?
It all starts with embracing your willingness to reinvent and believing in yourself. Those two things are the first things you need on the road to achieving your goals.
If you are ready to go out on a limb, make a change or completely reinvent yourself, consider this experience I had with getting out of my comfort zone, trying something new, and enjoying myself.
How to Reinvent Yourself: My Story
When I was a kid, I fancied myself as an artist. And truthfully, what child doesn’t? When we are young, we are all artists—willing and able to create because we have not yet developed a sense of good and bad, right and wrong.
We haven’t become jaded by judgment or become victims of comparison. But the older we get, these ugly measurements get in our heads and we throw our hands in the air and say, “Why try? I’m not good enough.”
It made me so happy to create as a child, but my willingness to go out on a limb and create took a serious nosedive into my adult years.
I always wanted to get back to my creative side, but I was never sure how.
A few years ago, I was invited to spend a Saturday afternoon with a friend at one of the pupular Canvas and Cocktails sessions and I thought, what better way to get out and create?
As I sat down at the canvas, in my mind, I set the ground rules for myself:
- No words of judgment allowed
- Have fun, explore
- Do not look at the canvasses around you and compare yourself.
Three easy rules, no problem.
But immediately I was afraid. What if I’m no good? What if my friend is better than me? No sooner had I set the rules than I was breaking them.
As I looked around the room we were in, I started to get excited about this event. Displayed on the walls were all of the different designs they offered through their various sessions, and I began to see possibilities.
I picked out the ones I wanted to make and where I could use them as decoration in my house. It felt like a new world was opening to me. I couldn’t wait to dive in.
The instructor got up and started leading us in the painting exercise.
First step, mix some of the yellow paint with the white paint and fill the canvas with a lemon-colored background.
Easy.
I took a look at my masterpiece, and as far as I was concerned, I had the perfect background.
Next though, we were to draw a tree that would become the home to two lovebirds and branches of flowers. The painting was called Cute as a Button.
The instructor demonstrated with ease, two flowing lines that were the outlines of the tree trunks. She did it so effortlessly and they looked perfect. Then she told us she’d turn on some rockin’ tunes while we took our turn at beginning our tree trunks. As soon as she turned on the music and turned it over to us, I froze.
In my mind I thought, what if my tree trunk doesn’t look like hers? This is the basis for the whole project, what if I mess it up? I can’t do that.
In that moment I recognized exactly where I have been so many times in my life.
I doubt myself before I even get started.
And then, I abandon ship.
But not today! Before long, I jumped in with both feet. Because painting is like that, once you put it out there, it’s on canvas and you just have to work with it.
You reinvent yourself without any doubts or second thoughts.
Let Your Creativity Flow
I loved the step-by-step nature of the process. The instructor would give us a few lines or circles to draw or an object to fill in, and then she’d turn the music up to let our creativity flow and when the time was up, she’d turn it down and give us another instruction.
The whole morning went just like that. She broke the painting down into bite-size pieces, which turned it into a manageable creation.
As we were all in the hard-core painting mode, the instructor asked us to stop. She explained some of those thoughts I had rolling through my mind about being intimidated, or not feeling skilled.
She gave us this advice: “Take a step back. Look at your painting with a less critical eye. What do you see?”
When I stepped back, and looked at my painting, focusing only on what I did and not what anyone around me had done, I have to say I was proud.
Not because I am an amazing artist, or because my painting looked anything like the display. I was proud of having taken the first step, even when I was scared that I wouldn’t be any good. I was proud that all things considered, it didn’t look too bad. And I was proud I had taken the risk to put my talents and my efforts onto the canvas regardless of the outcome.
At the end of the session, I finally allowed myself to look around, and what I saw was to me, symbolic. Every tree in the room looked different. And they all had their merits.
Each painting had its own strength. The room was full of color and personality. Just as the world around us is.
This painting exercise reminded me of what it takes to re-create or reinvent yourself.
We all have the opportunity to go back and start with a blank canvas anytime we want. And when you’re ready to start over, or life changes your direction without warning and you have to start over, there are a few simple rules:
4 Rules for Starting Over
- Be open.
- Don’t worry about right or wrong. Follow your heart.
- Every once in a while, do the “lean back” test.
- Take a step back and look at your accomplishments without judgment or comparison.
- Ignore the negative thoughts.
- When your internal negative dialogue gets too loud, turn up the music!
- Remember that you are you.
Finally remember even if you have a role model, a goal, an ideal ending in mind, you are a one-of-a-kind creation. Embrace your quirks and differences and enjoy the meandering path that life takes you on along your way.
Here’s your Redefining Able Action Plan:
- Where do you need to take an inspired risk in your life? (Do you want to write a book, learn to cook, build a new skill set, start a fitness program, etc.)
- Write down your goal.
- Break your project down into steps, just like the painting.
- Each time you set out to work on your project, encourage yourself to put into action one of those steps.
- As you work towards your goal, fill your mind, not with judging words, but with encouragement.
- Keep track of your accomplishments. Write them down. If you can’t see them immediately, look through a different lens. Lean back, take a step away, and see what you have accomplished.
